Dear Body Party,
It’s been a rough year– all I can seem to muster the energy to do is masturbate constantly because I hate myself and feeling lonely. I can’t seem to meet anyone in this god forsaken town to sooth my existential shit, I just want to meet new nice folks who are kind and cute and will hang out and make out with me. How do I fix this! How do I meet people queer people in this goddamn town?
Thanks,
Queer Cutie Seeking Kin
Hey Queer Cutie Seeking Kin,
Life gets rough sometimes/ life is rough all the time, but don’t fret– one day these days will all be bad memories. Let’s go in order.
Chronic mastrabation can be a real problem. Mastrabation, like anything that feels good (or produces any kind of sensation), can be really adictive. Orgasm releases many happy hormones like oxytocin, which lowers your body’s levels of cortisol, a hormone produced by stress that can have negative impacts on your health and mood. Thus, orgasm can have a really healthy impact on your body, but can also have a negative impact on your mental health, if you’re not getting out of bed and instead getting off. I’d recomend trying some other activities that take you outside of the bedroom that also decrease cortisol levels, like decreaing your intake of caffine or sugar, going on a bike ride, or eating less meat.
Keep in mind, though, that is is okay to be sad and it is okay to have to spend time just laying around in bed. But if you are going to wallow, it is best to wallow analog– If you can manage, read a book instead and leave both your phone and your computer outside. If you want to watch something, try choosing a movie instead of television, as television’s serial nature lends itself to spiralling and an overwhelming need to consume more and more content. At the very least, ditch your phone and just focus on one thing, as multi tasking and over stimulatin are major causes of both anxiety and depression. Seeking relationships to quell your sorrow is a double edged sword. Relationships can make or break us, and solid relationships are hard to come by, but real heavy beautiful friendships (and a lil self love) are the only things that will ever make this world worth existing in. And they go hand and hand! When self love is hard to come by, your friends will be there to love you for you.
Maybe friends aren’t really what you’re looking for? Just cuties to kiss? But I would recommend considering them one in the same– quality cuties over quantity cuties. As for how to find them, I have some recommendations. In general, my best advice is to make pals the way grandparents make pals. Consider taking more frequent trips to the grocery store. Hang out in more parks. Carry lots of snacks and offer them freely. Attend local community events. Volunteer with charities that resonate with you (how to find the wholesome cuties). Find something you love to do and do it often and in public.
Stay safe & have fun,
-Party!
Body Party is a positive, open-minded column about everything bodies, sex, relationships, and self love. This column is not written by a doctor but done by a person who has researched the topic and looked into your questions thoroughly. If you have any questions or problems and want advice about sex, medication, love, STD’s ect. please submit them to bodyparty@cooperpointjournal.com
