By Mason Soto & Georgie Fehringer.
This story is part of our April 1 Edition.
I’m Not Sure What This Is About But Everyone Keeps Nodding
Much of our time as students, as people, as living beings, is spent not knowing what is going on. In this program, no one understands, and yet we sit and nod together for hours several days a week. We wander through our classes, through our jobs, through the rote routes of the everyday, and we rarely stop to ask — what are we all doing here? Rather than aiming to answer that inquiry, “I’m Not Sure What This Is About But Everyone Keeps Nodding” is about refusing to ask, refusing to know what you are learning, and embracing the blissful nod of ignorance. Students will progress through readings with no chance of comprehension, work through seminar in near silence, and culminate their un-understandings by opting out of the optional final presentation.
8 Credits Unlearning. 4 Credits Participation.
Talking To Trees: A Class Where We Talk To Trees
This program will ask students to talk to trees. The Pacific Northwest is home to many trees, including Douglas Fir, Red Cedar, Vine Maple, Black Cottonwood, Red Alder, Cascara, Bigleaf Maple, Western Hemlock, Mountain Hemlock, Sitka Spruce, Engelmann Spruce, Grand Fir, Noble Fir, Pacific Silver Fir, Western White Pine, Common Juniper, Pacific Yew, Alaska Yellow Cedar, Rocky Mountain Juniper, Ponderosa Pine, and Western Larch. We will talk to all of them.
4 Credits Learning Across Differences. 4 Credits Botany
Life As An Ant
As a human being and as a student there are many times we feel small: in our lives, in our pursuits and in comparison to the unwieldy world. This class asks you to think smaller. How dreadful is an unstarted final project in Week 8 compared to the unstoppable force of a human foot closing in to squish you under brand new, unbroken-in Doc Martens? Think ant, and carry your group partners’ weight in a project where everyone was assigned tasks but only you will be completing it. How might the dorms be comparable to an ant hill? Dark, dreary, and dusty, our lives intertwine in marvelous ways.
8 Credits Existential Philosophy. 8 Credits Anti-Anthropocentric Theory.
Arting Away Your Last Relationship: A Series
As we reach the end of cuffing season the air is aflutter with fresh heartbreak. Turn the heart wrenching stories your friends are tired of hearing into fresh art. The program booklist will include past works from alumni such as: “and then they blocked me on instagram but kept showing up to le vouyer: a spoken word mixed tape”, “I Told You It Wasn’t A Good Idea to Get a Puppy 3 Weeks In”, and the seminal manifesto No I won’t get off your HBO account Game of Thrones is coming out soon and your mom’s the one paying for it anyway! There will also be a class visit from graduating senior Rebecca Clark, who will give a lecture on “how she was the first one to date ryan and she told you he was a fuckboy but you didn’t listen,” as well as the follow up lecture, “How To Deal with Ryan Now Dating Your ‘Best Friend’ From Freshman Year.”
8 Credits Artistic Practice. 4 Credits Oversharing. 4 Credits Libel.
AV Support: Student Turned Teacher
In this Freaky Friday of a class, students will explore in depth that phenomena that has no doubt touched all of our lives: helping your professor navigate a computer. We’ve all been there, fifteen minutes into the third day of class, the professor trying their best to pull up a Canvas page, or open a presentation, but low and behold the resulting minimum eight years between a Master’s and a professorship has wiped all technological know-how from their mind. Zoom in on these moments in this hands-on program by learning how to push through that awkward silence as the class watches the professor flail, and to work with beloved and tenured faculty to finally get that presentation going.
4 Credits Practical Technology. 4 Credits Communication.
Spotting Chemtrails: Ornithology in The New World Order
Look to the skies and the dark web for this exploration of spotting conspiracy in everyday minutiae. The main focus this Spring Quarter will be on developing skills to tell the difference between a cloud that reveals secret biochemical warfare, and a simple cirrus. If you have ever wondered about chemtrails, the Earth’s status as a sphere, or whether the government is turning the frogs gay, this program is for you. Students will debate the authenticity of historical moments and phenomena such as the lunar landing, Avril Lavigne’s clone, and the continent of Australia, using critical thinking skills to accept wholeheartedly that secret societies control every facet of life as we know it.
8 Credits Meteorology. 4 Credits Criticism.
Honorable Mentions:
How To Choose An Unintelligible Degree: Scaring Off Potential Employers
SOS: How To Run A Failing Newspaper, Taught by Georgie Fehringer & Mason Soto
Wordy Titles: How To Use Colons: Extended Version
Using Chalk Graffiti To Your Advantage
Underwater Basket Weaving
Alternatives To Capitalism: How To Stop Sleeping In During Protests
