Wasted advice is a column written by our editorial staff while legally drunk. Presented unedited, raw, and uncut. Send questions to https://ask.fm/wastedadvice.
What’s the best tinder bio?
This girls tinde bio — and she’s already — listen, it’s just “I’m a top.” That’s it
What’s the question?
What the fuck is the question?
Oh. I’m a top. Period
My favorite is — “wife, mother, veteran.”
That’s my tinder bio.
Wife mother veteran
Mine is similar but that’s not it—
Wait!
“No cops but yes ROTC.”
Fucking me
No cops but- no military yes rotc and cops. I was like WHAT we tried to swipe so we could be like what???
I just want to engage
My favorite are the ones that like really send me to existential dread they stare of the word.
@ symbol eating asshole
“Love cats Nintendo switch. Switch is the best.”
Should I get on Grindr right now?
The best tinder bio: should I get on grindr right now?
Let’s see – “wildflower. Namaste.” ThTs there own profile
Did you already get it?
What do you mean I already had it
“5’’ 11” cuz man.” You can pick man but if you pick cis man— that means they’re trying to fuk
If they put their pronouns im fully erect,
not to use the h word. — That’s going to get me horny
Are you ready for this bio? Sub-vers-I’ve.
It’s a full paragraph — “I’m broadly looking for sexual contact.” THE FACT THAT THEY USE A SEMICOLON. “Tell me what you’re into” – SEMICOLON – “I have tried it. Probably can’t host. Trans-friendly-SLASH-competent”
They read that bustle article
Pics available
thats a good oen
stop. whats (redacted)
dont know what the top was but we went on grdiner its tinder but for people who are serious
tlet me see who this is so i can roast them into my mind
lets move on
seminar q
I have attended (over 9000 seminars)
my question is you cannot graduate evergreen if you didn’t keep count
thats not a question.
can i tell you something very impressive — i passed up to algrebra with applied questions.
period. im not done. ive done up To – foundations to calculus.
NOT TO RAIN NOT TO RAIN ON ya’ll BUT LISTEN BUT LISTEN BUT WAIT THEY DUMBED YOU DOWN THEY WERRENT READY YOU WERE READY LISTEN LISTEN I FOT TO CALC TWO BITCHES!!!
NO!!!
i was going to be a Math Major!!!
straight girl right here
i got to calc 2!! and i failed out of Calc 2!!!
no gaze !no gaze. no!! no!!
i xan say that i have had sex. with someone who has been thru multiple calc
shut up you fuck tech bros
i fucked a tech bro who ourside of his apartment said go home tech bros
(clarifying) he took a picture of the tech bros sticker
woods party saturday the 15th in the woods follow the sound s this is official announcment
WHATS THE NEXT QUESTION BITCHEZ
im having a sappy movmsnt give me a second
go ahead an like that one. like that photo. like that video. thanks.
first question!
FIRST QUESTION. question time. que triste
Should I go back to evergreen?
no.
dont say no
should i o hack to evergreen
a nuanced answer is what this deaervees
my answer: you have to say the words hashtag meditate on it
#MEDITATEONIT. hashtag period.
dont listen to all the jaded senior. BUT WE’aRE RIGHT. FULLCAPS
dont ask the deadbeats
i want to ask the asker: DO YOU THINK THAT BEES ON THE AMERICAN SPIRIT CASE IS BROKE OR WOKE. its shoking me to death
i feel like i wpuld not be able to say the answer to the qusstion if i should go to evergreen if i had not gone to evergreen
wwu, whitman, western, centeal, uw, where is whitman? south pugetsound i have friends, university of puget sound, university is that not a college, university of washingyon PUS its pronounced UBS but heres the thing as much as i hate wvergreen but i know people who went to other colleges and theyrw all dumb and they suck and are hompphobic and suck
everyone who doesnt go to evergreen is homobphobic peripd hashtag peeriod
you arw joking you dont know
you know
you know these people?
i know
How does — are you listeninf– how to stop being embarrsezd about things in the past
[says question again in sarcastic accent]
dont type this down
(delte delete whos fot BOY PROBLEMS . ive got them too!! dont tell me why this is the most ally song)
youre like fuck men
you have to make wnough good memories that tou dont care anymorw
understand that the orld is ending
i have for years now have the answer– the answer to not being embarresses. keep being embarresed. GETTING BEALTHFUL — the real answer is kust prentwnding that toure better than everyone else . and sum of us dont even have to pretend
i didnt apill anything. youve asscended. youre above us.
ive been there in thae stratosphere.
bitch. the stratosphere. im going to lill you.
opps i did that on purpose and then you sit down cross tour legs and cross your arms and say “yeah, ok”
yeah thats literally the answer
cross your lega, cross your arms, and aay “yeah, ok.” happy pride bit h
dix years 5 monthst 10 days and ive been doing this for six years and they said “WHAT THE FUCK”
oh fuck oh fuck ofh cuck
that cant be your reaaction to thid
that is how you get over it l
well thats good
mwell can i eat yoyr orange
should we go to the reef?
thats true fire sign advise.
i wrote spiderman
i heard that spiderman is gay and thats fire sign
spyro is an aires accept it
not about aires signs idiots
well then why does it say aires idiot
can i say something
leos are the only fire sign.
i dont wnat to say it even tho i dont believe in horoscopes i believe there is only one fire sign and its leo
only
a LEO is a sag but they wont say theyre shit outloud
— wait wait wait holdup- thats LIES LIES LIE.
a sag walks into a party and goes lets fuck it up
. LIES LIES LIES LIES.
a leo goes im going to fuck this shit up silently, then fucks this hit up
MY WHOLE BEER TOU KNOWCKED MY WHOLE BEER OVER
try being best frienda with a leo
WAIT i have the answer: all along the clsrcond front
(crawls on roof ) “admit that leos are the only fire sign!”
(looks at friend on roof) this is what i mean- a leo just fucks it up.
