A vouch for love by Grace Selvig
Enemies to lovers as a literary trope/device is pretty self-explanatory. Two people who quarrel in some way develop a relationship over the course of the story. Some people see this genre and roll their eyes. They think that it is cringe or see it as people developing a romantic relationship between characters where it is not needed. I’ve heard countless people say that romance ruins movies where most of the screen time is filled with action or politics. I would agree that not every plot needs a romance element to be successful or interesting, but I will argue that romance does not inherently ruin a plot that is based around an external or internal conflict. Love is an integral part of the human experience. It comes in many forms, romantic love, familial love, friendship, appreciation, joy, etc. One of my favorite quotes relating to this comes from the movie Dead Poets Society where Robin William’s character says the following to his students:
“We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”
I come back to this quote often in my daily life because it points out directly the relationship we have with love in our lives and serves as a reminder to the question: “What is it all for?”. I think that sometimes people tend to regard loving as a secondary element to daily life. It’s my opinion that love and affection are integral parts to emotional survival.
I’m not saying that everyone needs romantic or sexual love in their lives. In this instance I am referencing love in a broad sense like all of those categories I mentioned before. The reason I mention this need for love at all is to normalize the desire to have it included in aspects of our lives. I’m a person that has a lot of love in my life. I love my family, my friends, my partner, the way velvet feels in my hands, the smell of the forest, the sound of waves crashing. It’s not cringe to say you love something and it’s not cringe to want to see love stories in the media you consume. An example of this would be the Star Wars universe. I have seen a lot of discourse online where people are saying that romance story lines ruin the movies because it’s not necessary. This is where I would make the argument that the loving and romantic elements add to the story. It gives characters something to lose, something to fight for, something to anchor them in their humanity while fighting a war.
You might be wondering why I am laying such a foundation to make a case for the enemies to lovers trope. Why do I care so much? Honestly, I’ve had a few people in my life make me feel bad for enjoying reading those types of stories and watching movies with that kind of romance. Recently, after a moment of spirited debate with a friend I accepted the challenge of writing down all my thoughts on this trope in order to make a compelling case for its validity as a story arc and lack of cringe as a trope itself. I’m not saying that every story of enemies to lovers lacks cringe, because anyone who has ever opened Wattpad will know that any literary trope can be written awkwardly.
Here’s what it all boils down to:
In an enemies to lovers story you have two people at odds. Their quarrel can take many forms, but the emphasis is that they are in each other’s way of accomplishing something.
What makes the development of this relationship more compelling than others is that these characters were not united because of initial mutual attraction. As a woman, I am so used to my romantic interactions being initiated because someone perceived me as attractive and took action. They didn’t have background knowledge of who I am as a person or what I have done.
In an Enemies to Lovers story your adversary knows a lot about you, the good, bad, and the ugly. It feels much more genuine for love to develop from a scenario in which someone knows who you are as a person, what you are capable of, and sees you as an evenly matched rival. Within this trope the characters are more than just a pretty face, they are complex people.
To be loved by someone in a way that recognizes your humanity so directly sounds so special. All that being said, wanting to see love in the action and adventure stories of our time doesn’t make you cringe, it makes you human.
